First Dates Do’s and Don’ts

The first date can often be the most difficult part, as most people tend to get nervous which makes people prone to making embarrassing mistakes.  Here are some pointers to help that first date run smoothly.

Do’s

1. Make sure you are on time, don’t use Indian timing!  The person you are meeting may not wait for you to turn up, so if you are going to be late let them know.

2. Be interesting.  The worst things you can do is turn up to a date and sit there all night not saying much or not talk at all.  Don’t make yourself easy to forget.

3. Try to laugh at their jokes, but not like a Bollywood villian.  Even if you have heard it before or even if it not funny.  Laughing along with your date will communicate that you are interested in them.

4. Take an interest in your date.  Listen to what they are saying and be interested in what they have to say and show you’re interested by asking question about their hobbies, with out coming across as being a Spanish inquisition. Make them feel comfortable, most people are on edge the 1st time they meet so try and make them feel at ease.

5. Be confident, don’t come across as Mr Bean – or Miss Bean (is there one?). BUT don’t confuse confidence with arrogance!

6. Be yourself.  Make sure you are yourself as you won’t fool anyone by pretending to be someone else.  Especially if you are planning to see them again as the real you will eventually come out.

7. Keep the conversation alive.  Make sure you don’t get that dreaded silence, during which you are both try desperately to come up with something to say, giving the impression that you are boring. Chat about anything (almost) talk about your most liked TV shows, films and music!

8. Stay safe.  Take your mobile with you, plan to drive yourself (gently decline the offer of being picked up) and let a friend know where you are going, who you are with and when you will be back.

Don’ts

1. Don’t be late (like all of my releatives who think arriving an hour or so late to dinner is acceptable, it’s not!).  First impressions count, and if you are late this will make your date think you’re lazy and did not plan ahead.  If you are going to be late make sure you let them know and give them a reason, they deserve an explanation.

2. Don’t talk about yourself all night.  There is nothing worse than a person that loves to talk about themselves all the time.

3. Don’t talk about past relationships.  Maybe that’s how you lost the last one.  Nobody wants to hear you drone on about your ex and what they did or did not do.

4. Don’t eat with your mouth open. My dad does it and it’s not attractive.

5. Don’t bombard your date with extremely personal questions.  Like you, they probably don’t want to reveal too much about themselves just yet.

6. Don’t try to be someone you’re not.  So he likes eating out, but you like staying at home eating roti.  Pretending otherwise will only make the other person feel deceived and turned off when they discover the truth.

7. Don’t forget to thank the other person for the date.  This is not only good manners but also gives you a chance to end it, if you’re not interested or to ask them out on another date, if you are:

8. Don’t propose marriage or kids, unless you never want to see that person again.

9. Don’t push it physically after your partner has said no.

10. Don’t get drunk.  As much as copious amounts of alcohol to calm your nerves sounds like a good idea.  Not only may you miss most of the date as you may end up spending most of the evening in the bathroom but this will also show them that you have no self control.

On a serious note, getting intoxicated on a date with a person you don’t know that well isn’t safe – lowering your inhibitions is likely to put you at risk of unwanted advances.